"On the corner of main street,
Just tryin' to keep it in line.
You say you wanna move on and,
You say I'm falling behind.
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
Slippin' in my faith until I fall,
You never returned that call.
Woman, open the door, don't let it sting,
I wanna breathe that fire again
Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind,
'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine.
Before you jump,
Tell me what you find when you read my mind."
- Read my Mind; The Killers.
What would you do if you could never trust the words of those around you?
Helios had grown up never knowing if the words from others were the ones he wanted to hear.. or the ones they truly wanted to say. His hypnotism was strong, it could control any mortal, for a few moments at least. And control the weak ones for a long time. But he didn't always know when he was using it.
He was young yet, not even out of his first century. And his lack of skill was apparent. Apart from that, his personality was one that was incompatible with most others. He was constantly teased and threatened, and on more then one occasion, beaten. Most of the basin thought him to be slow, annoying. He wasn't dim, in fact, he was very smart. But he had a terrible habit of over-thinking. So much so that he could barely make simple decisions, such as what food to eat, or what clothes to wear. Sometimes he didn't go eat at all, stuck in his room contemplating what to do with his day. And when caught in conversation, he tended to ramble these thoughts out loud, changing topics whenever a new thought came to him. But he was kind, and innocent. And he could not hold anything against anyone. So their ostracism and harsh treatment led him to believe that he was broken. Something was wrong with him, he was not as good as the rest. His powers were weak, hardly anyone ever spoke to him.. Yes, it made sense if he thought of things that way. He could understand why people would avoid him if considered those things. His belief that he was abnormal would grow to be strong, nearly unshakable.
There was one person though, who tried to reach out to him. Artemis. She was always kind to him, but able to scold him if he did something wrong. She was strong.. she was beautiful... Helios.. well, he had a bit of a crush on her. And when Artemis asked him to be her partner in a breeding, he was thrilled. Hard to tell, with how he acted, but he was. Something of him was wanted. By her. Finally, he had a use to someone.
But he wouldn't remain thrilled for long. Shortly after he and Artemis slept together, Artemis had sex with Theo. And instead of Helios' children, she carried Theo's.
Outwardly, Helios attempted to cheer her. Told her how it was good, how they'd be stronger, and people would like them. How it wouldn't have been nearly as good if he himself was the father.
That they'd be much better off without his defective genes...
After some time, after the children were born and grown, Artemis came to him again. This time, she wasn't asking for children. Instead, she asked for .... him. Why? Why did she want to be with someone like him? Surely there were so many better people for her. People who could shower her with romance and affection, people who could protect her if she was in trouble, people who could make with her a strong family.
Why did she want him? All he could offer was adoration that could not even be shown. He did want to be with her, very much. He loved her, placed her up on a pedestal and thought of her as all that was good in the world. She'd been the only one to treat him with consistent kindness, the only one to talk to him, get to know him. But he didn't think himself right for her. Because he had placed her so high, and himself so low, he thought the gap to be too large.
But she was insistent, and Helios agreed, on the condition that she leave without worrying about him if she began to like someone better. He considered this the inevitable future. There was no way someone like Artemis would be with someone like him for long. He would be happy... just being a footnote in her history. Of course, he didn't understand the sorrow that would follow, should she ever do what he had made her promise to do. It was an emotion he had forgotten, once he had accepted his role as a lower creature.
She didn't leave him, though. She stayed with him, and he was very happy. Still he doubted himself, and Artemis' attempts to convince him of his worth were gently rebuffed. There was a short span of time in which the goddess Amaterasu took her life, and Helios mourned. He stopped eating, sat by the bed where her corpse lay without fail. And when she regained life, he accepted it as readily as anything else, though he was scolded for not eating. He was so happy to have her back.
---
The incident with Kaien, which had been the caught of Artemis' short death, would have further repercussions. Kaien, angry over the injury Artemis had inflicted on her 'pet', Bastien, began to plot revenge. And Helios, he would be caught up in the middle.
One day, when he was training, as Artemis often asked him to do, so as to help him make his bond with Homa stronger, he was knocked out. When he awoke, he simply assumed it was from a fall. However, not more then a few feet away from where he had lain in the snow, rested the corpse of an Oina, it's skull destroyed quite obviously by Helios' very own weapon. Blood quite literally on his hands, he could not determine what to do, but followed the evidence, and decided clearly in his own mind that he had commited the crime. And when Amaterasu came to investigate the disturbance, he told her this fact. He was sent to fetch the person in charge. Sarutahiko, however, was not in the basin. He had gone on a journey, and had left Artemis in charge. Helios, accepting and calm even in the face of such a brutal crime, brought her back to Amaterasu, and his fate was decided. Someone needed to be punished by the next day.
In desperation, Artemis sent a messenger bird to Saruta, but the reply was not something she had hoped for. The god had found the situation to be unchangeable, and could only offer Artemis a stone, so that she may at least keep Helios alive through children. So they used the gift Saruta had provided. And two small, fragile lives began.
The very next day, Helios would die. He would die surrounded by the songs of birds, the warmth and fragrance of the forest, and the arms of the girl he so adored.
What more could he ask for?